Thursday, August 2, 2012

From Trusting Myself to Trusting Only You

These past few days have been full of no trust or trust in the wrong thing.  Life has been piling up on me and I do not know where to put my trust.  Events of the past few days have brought me to tears. They have brought me away from my family. They have caused me to lock myself in my bedroom and place my trust away from God. Trust is a big issue for me. I place trust in things that I know are wrong. I place trust in people who I know will break it. I keep repeating this phrase in my head "Trisha you can handle this on your own. You do not need anybody else. You can do it on your own". This is where all of my trust problems begin. I am placing my trust in myself instead of the one constant in my life. It's time for me to Let Go and Let God. Its time for me to place my Trust in God and watch Him do miracles in my life.... Psalm 21-25

Psalm 21:2 "You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips". When I first read this verse, my mind went straight back to Psalm 20:4 where David writes "may he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed".  This is something that got me very excited about reading the Bible tonight. We see a request given up to God and the request being fulfilled. David sent up a request to God to have all the desires of his heart. In between the request and the fulfillment, there was a period of waiting, hoping, and TRUSTING. In order to become a man after God's own heart, David needed to put all of his trust into God.

Psalm 22:1-2 "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent".  First off, these two verses sum up the fast few days I have had. I felt abandoned by God. I felt like He did not care about me. Then my mind flipped to the New Testament. The words "My God, my God why have you forsaken me" are words that came out of the mouth of Jesus while he hung on the cross, bleeding, hurting, abandoned, and alone. While I read through this, I felt tears well up in my eyes, "Jesus felt the same way that I did". In Matthew 26:36-45, we see the humanity of Jesus. We also see Jesus placing His trust into the hands of His Father. Matthew 26:39 states " Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will , but as you will' ". From that moment in the garden of Gethsemane to the moment on the cross where he feels abandoned by his father, he placed his trust in his Father that He was going to take care of him. I feel like I am in a place in my life where I feel abandoned by God. Reading these two verses in Psalms made me realize that I need to place my trust in God and remain in Him through it all. Even if I feel forsaken, it is me who is walking away from Him, not him walking away from me.

Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me". I cannot read through this whole chapter of Psalm 23 without remembering back to the first time I learned this Bible verse. I was in the 5th grade. I cannot even tell you how many years ago that was. I was in Sunday School and my teacher would give stars and candy for every Sunday we could say the whole Bible verse.  This verse is the verse that has always stuck out to me. It shows me that even though I go through valleys and that death could be creeping up onto my door step, I will not fear evil or Satan because God is on my side and He will comfort me through all things.

Psalm 24:4,6 "The one who has clean hands and a pure heart , who does not trust in an idol or swears by a false go. 6 Such is the generation of those who seek him, who see your face, God of Jacob" For any of you who know me, you know that I am going to tie this scripture into a song. The song is "Give us Clean Hands" The part of the song that hits me the most is "oh God let us be a generation that seeks, that seeks your face oh God of Jacob". This is my prayer for my generation. We need to seek God and put our trust in God. Even though He is unseen to the human eye, His works are not unseen. I know for myself I want to seek the face of God and I hope my generation follows.

Psalm 25:1-2 "In you, LORD my God, I put my trust. I trust in your; do not let me be put to shame nor let my enemies triumph over me" This whole blog today has been about trust. While I was reading I was trying to figure out a theme and when I came to this passage ,I knew Trust was the theme. This is me declaring that MY TRUST IS IN THE LORD MY GOD.....

Psalm 25:4-5 "Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long."  Lately I have been having theme verses for the week or for the month, and I think that  I have found my theme verse for the week. Right now I am dealing with some things for school that I just cannot seem to get clearance for and this verse gives me all the answers. I need to pray to God to have Him show me where He wants me to go. I see myself the past couple of days just wanting to be in God's truth. I want him to guide me .I do not even know how to explain it or why I feel this way, I just do....

This week has been full of ups and downs. I have realized and learned that my trust needs to move from myself to Him. I need to stop trusting myself and thinking that I can do everything on my own. The trust needs to be put into God and allow Him to do amazing things in my life. All of the confusing situations I am dealing with for school and life, I trust that God will have His way and that His truth and love will prevail.

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